As I put effort into redoing this site, I want to add a quick note in here to say, despite how this blog looks, I’m not always sad and I’m not always doubting myself. I do those things obviously and I’m aware of how off-putting it is so I chose to post it to my personal site where I get few hits.
This is a thing I do. If I’m excited about something I post on Twitter because it’s the most interactive. If I’m low-key sad, Tumblr because I have maybe four active followers. But if I’m really down it lands here because this is no-mans-land. But if I post it somewhere I give myself points because I did a thing.
I try to write positive notes to people who create things I love but often send them to defunct social media accounts because I’m afraid I’ll say the wrong thing. Again, still points in my head because I did it.
I have work to do, friends. I am making myself. There is no discovery here, no innateness. I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing but I’m getting better at it. I’m depressed today but I know I need to finish things. I’m getting acceptances or at least positive rejections. I need a creative home.
I’m writing upbeat even though I’m caving inside. I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing guys, but I’m getting better at it.