I’ve been pretty heavy with Goodreads the last few days as I’ve go started organizing my books — and no, I’m still not done. I realized that I’ve only reviewed one book and it was an LOL one and I thought I’d bring it here and insert some gifs for the exercise.
Novels like this are necessary. They are junk food — all details are extra cheesy.
I found this paperback in a thrift store and laughed at the cover and synopsis with the same joy that I felt upon finding Metal Angel (a romance centered around an angel who cuts off his wings to become an 80’s rockstar) and The Holmes-Dracula File (no one-sentence synopsis necessary).
Anyway, the book was exactly as I thought it would be: enjoyable, with points throughout where I was giggling stupidly.
The romance thread is — as expected — extra flimsy. Our heroine, Sally, meets this dude on the street, and the readers are treated to a whole lot of description about how copper-colored and beautiful his hair is. They spend a night together and she’s in love. They actually seem to share very little time together, even after they bang and she’s sure they’re in love — because she spends the majority of the two days that follow working at a hamburger joint and visiting crazy cat psychic Cyril.
Unfortunately, Sally is pretty underdone, while readers get a hint that she acts kindly toward the stranger in the street because of her dead brother, there’s not much developed from her backstory. Additionally, I thought she reacted in a baffling manner sometimes — so much that I’d put the book down, snort and utter, “No way,” or some expletive-based variation. There was also a mention toward the end that Simon possesses some kind of extra sensory talent that could influence some of her behavior — but again the idea is undeveloped/unexplained. He could be in her head making her act strange, believing in love at ff, thinking that his rapid aging was the effects of stress and not the faltering remnants of some long-ago enchantment. I mean I will digress here, but if I literally have to put the book down because it’s absurd I expect a little more explanation.
In all, the romance thread felt extra weird to me because Simon was the preserved corpse of a Victorian kid in a sailor costume about 24 hours before they hit the sheets. Yeah yeah, I understand — he’s actually kind of geriatric with a birthdate around 1900 and a storyline that picks up in 1985 (a good year) and he physically ages/transforms into the werewolfish creature through killing people — but still…
Then there’s Albert, the predictably sloppy, overweight, and unmarried cop who is always game for a decent bacon sandwich. He exists in nearly the same arrested social development as Simon when he was an enchanted corpse. I feel like this is an oft-used trope, the slobby, socially-averse cop that sticks around and eventually inherits someone else’s storyline. In the end he thins out and maybe slaps a tie on every once in awhile because he’s got a thing for the girl (and girls dig neckties). Still, he’s the most developed character of the bunch. The family histories and connection between Albert and Simon are presented piecemeal through the story and — while it didn’t all connect the way it could have — it was the most interesting part of the book.
In short, aside from the off-putting romantic thread and underdone characters, the premise itself isn’t entirely uninteresting. Kid is born on a bad day as an empty vessel; demon takes possession; there’s some creepy backstory that includes the skeleton of German investigator found with the silver latched coffin; coffin is disturbed setting off the narrative of this volume.
Apparently there’s a book before and after — because of course she’s knocked up — I haven’t read either at the time of this review. However, if I see them in a thrift store, I’ll probably pick them up.